In Search of Self: Remedy for the Mid-Twenties Crisis

“From the depths of mystery, and even from the heights of splendor, we bounce back and hurry for the latitudes of home.”

Annie Dillard, “Total Eclipse”

Life in your mid-twenties has a way of making you question yourself. Am I where I should be in life? Am I the person that I always hoped I’d be? Am I still working on being that ideal person? Am I an adult yet, even though the thought of any “grown-up duties” (marriage, motherhood, mortgages) terrifies me? My reservations for the rapidly approaching reality that is adulthood are remedied by one place: Home.

Home isn’t necessarily the house you grew up in, the people in your family or the address on your mailbox. For me, it’s the feeling of being grounded. A reminder that this is where you came from; a respite from the ideal image you see for yourself; a reflection of your inner-essence.

Home for me is 150 acres of woods, farmland, streams, and fields tucked away in the rural landscape of Northern Maryland. Now, given, I only live 45 minutes away from my childhood home but it’s far enough away to serve as a getaway. I stand in the same fields of flowers, wade in the same streams, and relax against the same trees that I did as a child.

From afar it appears the same, but small transformations are noticed after closer consideration; trees mature, grasping for clouds without looking down; blooms spread, stippling the landscape in sunshine; creeks change course from years of water licking the banks. Nature has a way of aging gracefully, that I can only hope to emulate.

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